Another conference is in the books

Everyone at Hillside's Adoption Services would like to thank each and every one of you that attended the 17th Annual Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children's Center Conference on Adoption "The Changing World of Adoption."

Conference just days away

The Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center 17th Annual Conference is fast approaching.

This year, the conference is focusing on the changes that are impacting how and why people adopt children. Attendees at the November 8, 2008 conference being held from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. at the Bay Trail Middle School in Penfield, NY (See map here), will be able to participate in workshops that explore topics ranging from single parent adoption and LGBT adoption to how the Hague impacts adoption and why connections matter in the adoption process.

There have been so many changes that have impacted how and why people adopt. Each year, this conference proves to be one of the best ways for anyone interested in adopting, anyone who is an adoptive parent, and anyone who is an adoptee themselves to learn about the changing world of adoption from others who have experienced it.

The conference provides multiple opportunities for networking and learning more about the various aspects of adoption.

Register online now to attend: http://www.hillside.com/Services/Adoption/conference.htm.

The Changing World of Adoption

By Lisa Maynard, Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center executive director

More than 20 years ago, I wanted to be a Mom.

Conventional methods just weren’t working, and our doctor grouped us among the “unexplained infertile.” I was ready to move away from my doctor and move toward adoption.

I was scared and frustrated. I had heard the horror stories of adopting a baby in the U.S. I had talked with couples through a group called Infertility Focus who had been selected to parent the baby of a woman who at the last moment changed her mind. I had had enough disappointment and sadness during our infertility; I wasn’t ready to go deeper into loss from there. One agency told us there was a 7 to 10 year wait for a “healthy white infant.” Starting a family as I was approaching 40 wasn’t an option. All I kept thinking was that I was ready to start now!

We decided to check out International Adoption. It wasn’t any easier. Gathering information and choosing an agency was a challenge. Every agency I called claimed to be the best. How would I know? What did I need to look for in an agency? Where should I begin? I was at a loss. This was, after all, before the age of the Internet!

We attended an agency information meeting after I had spotted an ad in the local penny saver that had jumped out at me while packing to move into a new home. I called it fate and we decided to attend. The agency rep. was knowledgeable, warm, and kind. The room was filled with newly adoptive parents holding tightly to their babies. We made the decision to move forward.

The memory of when we got the call that our son was arriving within days will stay in my mind forever. My mother and I were running from the front door to the back–unable to decide whether we should walk or drive to share the news with my husband. While we were trying to figure out that huge dilemma, he came home for lunch! We made our plane reservations, called our friends, and waited some more.

Three days later, we were watching the international arrivals de-plane from Korean Airlines. Fourteen babies arrived from Korea that day; we tried to match the picture in our hand with the tiny faces in strollers two stories below. Suddenly, the elevator doors opened, and someone called our name. We stood staring at our new son, unsure of what to do next., “You can pick him up,” said the escort kindly. We did, and she left, and we began our life as a family and our journey through adoption continued.

In 1987, we filed an adoption application with an agency on May 29. On September 29 that year, our son Alex arrived from South Korea through the international terminal at JFK. It took four months!
The wait had seemed interminable, the time between was filled with Homestudy, baby-care classes, worrying, waiting, cleaning, painting, purchasing baby stuff, and more worrying.

So much has changed in 21 years. To some extent, the world is on information overload. The Internet has given us an incredible tool and access to all corners of the world. We can find truckloads of information and innumerable links to services which might meet our needs.

It feels easier in some respects than it did when we began our journey. However, the content, reliability, and validity of the information on the Internet can be somewhat questionable. Who can you trust? How can you be sure an agency you choose on the Internet will really care about you and your family’s future, and guide you through the adoption process?

Cindy Fleischer and I started Adoption Resource Network 18 years ago with the intent to bring together all sides of the adoption triad and to provide unbiased information, education, referral and support to individuals, couples and families who are interested in or involved in adoption. Our first annual conference drew a totally unexpected audience of 450! I wish there had been a conference like that before I began the adoption process. Each year, we hear from participants that the conference was the single most helpful step they took at the beginning of their adoption journey.

Almost two decades later, the Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center’s Annual Adoption Conference is still the best way in upstate New York to gather resources for adoption.

How A Child Defines Belonging

Jaiya John will be giving the luncheon keynote address on November 8 at the 17th Annual Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center Conference on Adoption “The Changing World of Adoption.”

Jaiya John’s poetic keynote celebrates the promise and the impact of adoption and similar family arrangements. Jaiya defines culture as a person’s way of existing in the world. This definition brings every child under the same tree; a tree rooted in our human need to feel as though we are beautiful (worthy, valid, positively unique and similar) and as though we belong (possessing an honored purpose within the collective). The challenge we face is in learning to honor children in the context of their purposeful individual uniqueness. Honoring children creates serenity, healing, and growth in each family member. In this holistic cultural approach, families learn to celebrate each member’s unique heritage, life story, and identity as a pathway to healthy relationships.

Throughout the afternoon Jaiya will also be conducting a book signing of his child service-related titles Legendary; Beautiful; Reflection Pond and Black Baby White Hands: A View from the Crib. Learn more about Jaiya John and Soul Water Rising’s global human relations mission at www.soulwater.org.

Workshop Session during the conference:

Jaiya’s workshop session will not be a “workshop” in the conventional sense, but rather a question-and-answer discussion addressing issues that were raised for participants during Jaiya’s keynote presentation. This will be a conversational session, without exercises or handouts. Here is your chance for hear-to-heart on the issues that are significant to you.

Two from Hillside discuss adoption on WGRZ's WNY Living

Check out this great segment from the October 11, 2008 WNY Living program. Lisa Maynard and Jody Hansen-Walker talk with Janet, the host of the show, about adoption, the upcoming conference, and the award the Adoption Support and Preservation services received from the US Department of Health and Human Services.

Here's the link to the main segment page: http://www.wnyliving.tv/WNYLiving_Article.aspx?storyid=61124

You can find the video by clicking on the "Click here to view" link on top of the Hillside logo, or by clicking here: http://www.wnyliving.tv/VideoPlayer.aspx?aid=48221&bw=

Behind the scenes at RNews on Oct. 9

Here is a brief "behind the scenes" look at the interview Lisa Maynard did with RNews' Virginia Butler early on October 9, 2008 about the ASAP award and the upcoming conference. Wait until the end to get Lisa's take on the interview. The RNews story can be found online here.

Watch RNews on October 9

Check out RNews around 7:45 a.m./8:00 a.m. October 9, 2008 and at RNews.com throughout the day for a special interview with Lisa Maynard, Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children's Center.

Then come back here to this blog for a "behind-the-scenes" video of the interview.

Lisa Maynard on WBTA 1490

Mark your calendars!
Lisa Maynard, Executive Director of Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children's Center will be on the radio October 2, 2008.
Listen to Batavia's WBTA 1490 AM at 9:40 a.m. to hear her talk about the award the program just received and the upcoming conference.

ASAP services nationally recognized

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has announced that the Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center is being recognized with the 2008 Adoption Excellence Award for the extraordinary contributions it has made in providing adoption and other permanency outcomes for children in foster care through its Adoption Support and Preservation services.

“It’s an honor to receive national recognition for our work to support and ensure the stability of adoptive families through our Adoption Support and Preservation services,” said Lisa Maynard, Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center executive director.

Adoption Support and Preservation (ASAP) offers support services to TANF-eligible families who have adopted or are in the process of adopting a child. The services include: information and referrals; support groups; skill building; crisis intervention; advocacy; respite services; and counseling. The service model employed by ASAP is the only one of its kind in Monroe County, and is unique to upstate New York.

Since rolling out the services in 2006, ASAP has proven extremely effective and has surpassed all of its performance targets.

“Because of ASAP, 99 percent of all children placed with a pre-adoptive family have stayed with that family despite facing very unique challenges. Without the services, the children wouldn’t have made it,” said Maynard.

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services established the Adoption Excellence Awards program to recognize outstanding accomplishments in achieving permanency for the nation’s children in foster care awaiting adoption. The awards honor states, child welfare agencies, organizations, courts, businesses, individuals, and families. More information on the awards can be found at http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/current_initiatives/aeawards.htm

Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center will hold its 17th Annual Adoption Conference: “The Changing World of Adoption” on November 8, 2008 at Bay Trail Middle School in Penfield. For information about speakers and workshops and to register, log on to http://www.hillside.com/Services/Adoption/conference.htm
More information about Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center can be found at http://www.hillside.com

Adoption pioneer speaks about the changing world of adoption

As a pioneer in the field of adoption and post adoption services, Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao, Ed.D., LCSW, LMFT, knows that the world of adoption has changed since her own adoption sixty years ago.

“So many things have changed. In the early days of adoption it was a supply and demand kind of situation,” notes Pavao. Today, she thinks it is more important for anyone involved in the adoption process to be child-centered–to find families for children rather than find children for families.

Once those families have been found, and an adoption has been finalized, Pavao advocates for the utilization of post adoption services to overcome the challenges in “understanding and making sense of adoption” for all parties—birth family, adoptive family and adopted persons.

“The importance of post adoption services is challenging. There is a lot of loss involved and often trauma as well. Providing services in an ongoing way is very important,” says Pavao.

She notes that the job of the new adoptive parent is to be aware of, and sensitive to, identity issues the child may experience so as to make the youth more comfortable during the transition and afterwards.

Pavao points to the increasing trend of gay and lesbian couples adopting to explain her opinion. In the past, she says that one of the partners in these couples had to act as a single parent to adopt. Now, people are more overt about their sexual orientation. That they are gay or lesbian is important to their identification as a family and that is to be considered as they go through the adoption process. She argues that secrecy did not work in adoption of old, and secrecy does not work in the present.

“These are people that are good people that want to be parents,” says Pavao.

And as the world of adoption continues to change, the desire to be a parent and welcome a child into a family is one constant Pavao views as an important characteristic that anyone interested in adopting should have.

More of Pavao’s take on the changes occurring in the world of adoption can be heard during the morning keynote address “The Changing World of Adoption: How Far Have We Come,” which she is scheduled to deliver during the Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center’s 17th annual conference: “The Changing World of Adoption” being held on November 8, 2008, at the Bay Trail Middle School, 1760 Scribner Road, Penfield, NY 14526.

“I think the conference is terrific. Everyone should consider attending. They will be surprised and will learn something about themselves, their loved ones, and their community,” says Pavao.

Registration for the conference is now open and can be done online at http://www.hillside.com/Services/Adoption/conference.htm. For more on the work Dr. Pavao is doing, log on to The Center For Family Connections web site at http://www.kinnect.org. Her book is The Family of Adoption, Beacon Press, 2005.

The world of adoption is changing

Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center is focusing this year’s conference on the changes that are impacting how and why people adopt children.

Attendees at the November 8, 2008 conference being held from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. at the Bay Trail Middle School in Penfield, NY (See map here), will be able to participate in workshops that explore topics ranging from single parent adoption and LGBT adoption to how the Hague impacts adoption and why connections matter in the adoption process.

“During the 17 years that we’ve been holding this conference, there have been so many changes that have impacted how and why people adopt. Each year, the conference has proven to be one of the best ways for anyone interested in adopting, anyone who is an adoptive parent, and anyone who is an adoptee themselves to learn about these changes first-hand from others who have experienced them,” says Lisa Maynard, Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center executive director.

In addition to the slate of workshops, a morning keynote address entitled “The changing world of adoption: how far have we come,” an afternoon keynote addressing interracial adoption, and a general session discussing the future of adoption, the conference will provide multiple opportunities for conference attendees to interact with one another and learn more about the various aspects of adoption.

Registration for the conference is now open and can be done online at http://www.hillside.com/Services/Adoption/conference.htm.

How you can benefit from Adoption Resource Network’s Annual Adoption Conference

By Lisa Maynard, ARN at HCC Executive Director


When I began exploring adoption as a way to build my family, I thought it would be easy. All I needed to do was figure out who could help, figure out how to apply, and then sit back and start being a Mom.

I had an idea that we would be asked through the homestudy process to explain why we wanted to adopt, describe ourselves, and prove we could handle the responsibility. Starting on that journey was much more challenging than I could have imagined – there was no Internet, no one source of information, no “one stop shop” for adoption. Additionally, I was quite unaware of the enormous impact adoption would have on my life.

When my adoption journey began more than 18 years ago, my friend Cindy and I, under the guidance of our adoption social worker from Love The Children, embarked on a project to host an adoption conference for the Greater Rochester (NY) community.

We had big plans for our conference, including a keynote from a nationally renowned speaker, bringing together advocates from the adoption community, as well as bringing together all three sides of the adoption triad–birth parents, adoptive parents, and adults who were adopted. It was exciting as we eagerly anticipated a successful conference.

Our goal for the first conference was to draw between 100 and 150 attendees. We called on national organizations that had experience hosting conferences, and were cautioned to lower our goal because 50 or so was considered a “great” turnout. Undaunted, we were determined to meet our original attendance goal.

We designed and distributed flyers and announcements. We called on friends and colleagues to spread the word. And, we were completely astounded by the response. One week out from that first conference, we had 450 people registered and more calling each day! It was clear we had identified a “gap in service” and we weren’t even looking!

Prior to hosting that first conference, I had only been to one other conference on adoption. Until that conference, I wasn’t completely aware of the opportunities afforded through such a venue. I found I enjoyed the workshops and learned a great deal from them. I found resources I didn’t see elsewhere, and made new friends. It was exhilarating to see those same opportunities at our conference.

I have since attended state, national, and international conferences on adoption. Each time I learn something new, come home with new ideas, new resources, and renewed hope for the future of adoption and foster care in the United States and abroad. Additionally, I find new challenges and renewed commitment to children and families touched by adoption.

Much like those conferences, Adoption Resource Network’s annual conference offers many resources. If you come, you will learn about the unique issues of adoption and foster care. You can collect helpful tips for parenting adopted children. You will have the opportunity to meet people–agency representatives, attorneys, social workers–who can assist you with the adoption process. You will find information and resources to help you conduct a search for biological family, and network with others in adoptive and foster care relationships.

You are sure to be challenged, to grow in your approach to adoption, to find new perspectives, to learn new approaches to parenting, in your search for self and family at Adoption Resource Network’s annual conference.

See how the changing world of adoption can change your life! Register online today.

The Dinner Gang

Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children's Center Executive Director Lisa Maynard (second in on the right) and colleagues from around the country at NACAC's 35th annual conference on adoption in Ottawa--summer 2008.

A journey 18 years in the making

By Lisa Maynard, ARN at HCC executive director

A little more than 18 years ago, I was on a flight to JFK to pick up my new daughter. I was nervous and excited, and more than a little frightened of how this new addition would affect our existing family of three. How would our beloved son adjust? At nearly three years old, he had been the one and only, the treasured first son. His life was about to be disrupted by our new arrival and I worried about his reaction and my ability to care for two babies at once.

At five months old, my daughter had just experienced the loss of the only family she had ever known, endured a grueling 26-hour trip from Seoul, South Korea halfway around the world to New York City accompanied by an escort she had never met before, and was placed in our loving–yet strange–arms. The moment I held her, my fears and apprehensions melted away. I knew my family was complete.

In late August, her dad, brother, and I (her step-dad was waylaid by surgery and disappointed at missing the trip) delivered Kristen to another strange land–Columbus, Ohio. This time, she had favorite belongings with her, was accompanied by her family, and was delivered with love and care to her new home and latest adventure—College!

How on earth did 18 years pass? In a conversation on one of our many trips to the store to buy supplies for her dorm, I told Kristen how all my friends who had children long before I did warned me of how fast children grow. I pretended to listen, to understand, but really I had no idea. It would be different for me; I would cherish each day and relish the progress she made, counting each day as a special lifetime. For me, time would play out like a slow motion fairy tale–making cookies, painting faces and knees, hosting sleepover parties, and cuddling late into the night. My daughter's childhood would last forever.

And suddenly, the spunky pink bundle that was placed in my arms in an airport in New York City grew overnight into a charming beauty–talented, engaging and strong-willed. While gathered with other moms watching the picture-taking at a pre-Senior Ball event, many of them exclaimed over the stunning dark-haired young woman in the purple gown. My daughter! I basked in their awe and shared it with them, finally admitting that she was mine!

I have learned so much from my daughter. She affected my life in ways I could not have imagined. Her bright flashes of anger taught me that mad is sometimes OK. Her charm and poise make me proud. Her brilliant smile lights me up. Her love for me astounds me and makes me feel luckier than any other mom.

I learned that attachments are made over time, with patience, with unwavering commitment. I've learned that adoption is so much more than bringing a baby into your home with a "clean slate" starting new from that day. I've learned that I can be Mom, honor her origins, love her birth mother without whom I would not have the incredible gift of my daughter.

The journey to adoption is often fraught with frustration, delay, discouraging news, long waits, and sometimes disappointment. Many of us have had to face up to recognize and mourn our unmet expectations. Many of us have faced challenges we did not anticipate, did not really "ask for." It all seems so insignificant when compared to the sheer bliss, the honor, the incredible depth of love, and overwhelming commitment of parenting a child by adoption.

How proud I am of my daughter. How fortunate I am to be Kristen's Mom.

Photo: Lisa, right, and daughter Kristen

Go forth and educate!

Hunter College Class of 2008 graduates and facilitators.


Jacquie Morrison, Hillside Children's Center Adoption services and Bonnie Birkmeyer, Clinical Mentor, Hillside Children's Center, both completed the Hunter College program this year and are pictured here (Jacquie bottom row, Bonnie top row). Jean Galle, a manager/mentor assistant at Hillside Children's Center also completed the program, but missed graduation due to the birth of her first daughter.

Lisa Maynard, executive director of Hillside Children's Center's Adoption Resource Network and Adoption Services is on the faculty at Hunter College and is pictured in the second row at the far left.

Adoption Resource Network annual conference is coming

Check back here and at http://www.hillside.com/Services/Adoption/conference.htm for more information regarding the Adoption Resoruce Network at Hillside Children's Center annual conference taking place this year on November 8, at Bay Trail Middle School in Penfield, NY (see map below).


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Why Hillside Adoption Services?

Hillside Children’s Center has been helping families adopt and raise children for more than 100 years. No one brings more experience or capabilities to adoption services.

Through our Adoption Resource Network, we also provide pre-adoption counseling, support, information, and referral to a wide range of individuals and organizations who can assist you in the adoption process. We understand that the decisions around adoption, raising adopted children, and making an adoption plan are often difficult and emotionally taxing. No matter where you are in the process, we’re here to listen, help, and provide support.

http://www.hillside.com/Services/Adoption/Why.htm