Another conference is in the books

Everyone at Hillside's Adoption Services would like to thank each and every one of you that attended the 17th Annual Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children's Center Conference on Adoption "The Changing World of Adoption."

Conference just days away

The Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center 17th Annual Conference is fast approaching.

This year, the conference is focusing on the changes that are impacting how and why people adopt children. Attendees at the November 8, 2008 conference being held from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. at the Bay Trail Middle School in Penfield, NY (See map here), will be able to participate in workshops that explore topics ranging from single parent adoption and LGBT adoption to how the Hague impacts adoption and why connections matter in the adoption process.

There have been so many changes that have impacted how and why people adopt. Each year, this conference proves to be one of the best ways for anyone interested in adopting, anyone who is an adoptive parent, and anyone who is an adoptee themselves to learn about the changing world of adoption from others who have experienced it.

The conference provides multiple opportunities for networking and learning more about the various aspects of adoption.

Register online now to attend: http://www.hillside.com/Services/Adoption/conference.htm.

The Changing World of Adoption

By Lisa Maynard, Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center executive director

More than 20 years ago, I wanted to be a Mom.

Conventional methods just weren’t working, and our doctor grouped us among the “unexplained infertile.” I was ready to move away from my doctor and move toward adoption.

I was scared and frustrated. I had heard the horror stories of adopting a baby in the U.S. I had talked with couples through a group called Infertility Focus who had been selected to parent the baby of a woman who at the last moment changed her mind. I had had enough disappointment and sadness during our infertility; I wasn’t ready to go deeper into loss from there. One agency told us there was a 7 to 10 year wait for a “healthy white infant.” Starting a family as I was approaching 40 wasn’t an option. All I kept thinking was that I was ready to start now!

We decided to check out International Adoption. It wasn’t any easier. Gathering information and choosing an agency was a challenge. Every agency I called claimed to be the best. How would I know? What did I need to look for in an agency? Where should I begin? I was at a loss. This was, after all, before the age of the Internet!

We attended an agency information meeting after I had spotted an ad in the local penny saver that had jumped out at me while packing to move into a new home. I called it fate and we decided to attend. The agency rep. was knowledgeable, warm, and kind. The room was filled with newly adoptive parents holding tightly to their babies. We made the decision to move forward.

The memory of when we got the call that our son was arriving within days will stay in my mind forever. My mother and I were running from the front door to the back–unable to decide whether we should walk or drive to share the news with my husband. While we were trying to figure out that huge dilemma, he came home for lunch! We made our plane reservations, called our friends, and waited some more.

Three days later, we were watching the international arrivals de-plane from Korean Airlines. Fourteen babies arrived from Korea that day; we tried to match the picture in our hand with the tiny faces in strollers two stories below. Suddenly, the elevator doors opened, and someone called our name. We stood staring at our new son, unsure of what to do next., “You can pick him up,” said the escort kindly. We did, and she left, and we began our life as a family and our journey through adoption continued.

In 1987, we filed an adoption application with an agency on May 29. On September 29 that year, our son Alex arrived from South Korea through the international terminal at JFK. It took four months!
The wait had seemed interminable, the time between was filled with Homestudy, baby-care classes, worrying, waiting, cleaning, painting, purchasing baby stuff, and more worrying.

So much has changed in 21 years. To some extent, the world is on information overload. The Internet has given us an incredible tool and access to all corners of the world. We can find truckloads of information and innumerable links to services which might meet our needs.

It feels easier in some respects than it did when we began our journey. However, the content, reliability, and validity of the information on the Internet can be somewhat questionable. Who can you trust? How can you be sure an agency you choose on the Internet will really care about you and your family’s future, and guide you through the adoption process?

Cindy Fleischer and I started Adoption Resource Network 18 years ago with the intent to bring together all sides of the adoption triad and to provide unbiased information, education, referral and support to individuals, couples and families who are interested in or involved in adoption. Our first annual conference drew a totally unexpected audience of 450! I wish there had been a conference like that before I began the adoption process. Each year, we hear from participants that the conference was the single most helpful step they took at the beginning of their adoption journey.

Almost two decades later, the Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center’s Annual Adoption Conference is still the best way in upstate New York to gather resources for adoption.

How A Child Defines Belonging

Jaiya John will be giving the luncheon keynote address on November 8 at the 17th Annual Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center Conference on Adoption “The Changing World of Adoption.”

Jaiya John’s poetic keynote celebrates the promise and the impact of adoption and similar family arrangements. Jaiya defines culture as a person’s way of existing in the world. This definition brings every child under the same tree; a tree rooted in our human need to feel as though we are beautiful (worthy, valid, positively unique and similar) and as though we belong (possessing an honored purpose within the collective). The challenge we face is in learning to honor children in the context of their purposeful individual uniqueness. Honoring children creates serenity, healing, and growth in each family member. In this holistic cultural approach, families learn to celebrate each member’s unique heritage, life story, and identity as a pathway to healthy relationships.

Throughout the afternoon Jaiya will also be conducting a book signing of his child service-related titles Legendary; Beautiful; Reflection Pond and Black Baby White Hands: A View from the Crib. Learn more about Jaiya John and Soul Water Rising’s global human relations mission at www.soulwater.org.

Workshop Session during the conference:

Jaiya’s workshop session will not be a “workshop” in the conventional sense, but rather a question-and-answer discussion addressing issues that were raised for participants during Jaiya’s keynote presentation. This will be a conversational session, without exercises or handouts. Here is your chance for hear-to-heart on the issues that are significant to you.

Two from Hillside discuss adoption on WGRZ's WNY Living

Check out this great segment from the October 11, 2008 WNY Living program. Lisa Maynard and Jody Hansen-Walker talk with Janet, the host of the show, about adoption, the upcoming conference, and the award the Adoption Support and Preservation services received from the US Department of Health and Human Services.

Here's the link to the main segment page: http://www.wnyliving.tv/WNYLiving_Article.aspx?storyid=61124

You can find the video by clicking on the "Click here to view" link on top of the Hillside logo, or by clicking here: http://www.wnyliving.tv/VideoPlayer.aspx?aid=48221&bw=

Behind the scenes at RNews on Oct. 9

Here is a brief "behind the scenes" look at the interview Lisa Maynard did with RNews' Virginia Butler early on October 9, 2008 about the ASAP award and the upcoming conference. Wait until the end to get Lisa's take on the interview. The RNews story can be found online here.

Watch RNews on October 9

Check out RNews around 7:45 a.m./8:00 a.m. October 9, 2008 and at RNews.com throughout the day for a special interview with Lisa Maynard, Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children's Center.

Then come back here to this blog for a "behind-the-scenes" video of the interview.