Hillside Children’s Center appointee will coordinate adoption services in Western New York

Hillside Children’s Center, an affiliate of Hillside Family of Agencies, has appointed Jacquie Morrison to the position of adoption services coordinator—Western Region.

In this role, Morrison, of Penfield, NY, will be responsible for expanding Hillside’s adoption services––infant, international, and waiting child adoption, and pregnancy counseling services into Alleghany, Cattaraugus, Chautauqua, Erie, Genesee, Livingston, Niagara, Steuben, Orleans, and Wyoming counties.

In addition, Morrison will be responsible for the quality of services provided to youth and families served through the TANF and Erie County Adoption Resource Center Post Adoption grants.

“Jacquie is an energetic and enthusiastic individual who, because of her knowledge and understanding of issues unique to adoptive families and children who have been in foster care, will be committed to providing the support these families need,” says Lisa Maynard, Hillside Children’s Center Adoption Services director.

Prior to her appointment, Morrison served Hillside Children’s Center as an adoption social worker and was also the clinical mentor for the Adoption Support and Preservation Program.

Morrison earned a Bachelor of Social Work degree in 1993 from Michigan’s Calvin College and a Master of Social Work degree in 1996 from the State University of New York at Buffalo .She also holds a post-graduate certificate in adoption therapy from the Hunter College School of Social Work.

Hillside Children’s Center appoints Hansen-Walker as adoption homefinding specialist

Hillside Children’s Center has appointed Jody Hansen-Walker to the position of adoption homefinding specialist.

In this position, Hansen-Walker, of Pittsford, NY, will be responsible for the recruitment, training, support, and matching of prospective adoptive families with children in foster care who have been freed for adoption.

Prior to her appointment, Hansen-Walker was the program coordinator for Hillside Children’s Center’s Adoption Support and Preservation services in Western New York. Hansen-Walker has been a therapeutic adoptive parent since 1987.

Hillside Adoption Services planning for National Adoption Month in November

By Lisa Maynard

It's that time of year again! The leaves have turned amber and scarlet, the air is brisk, and the skies are a steely gray. As all signs point to autumn’s arrival, plans for National Adoption Month kick into high gear.

Twenty-three years ago, I was trying to figure out how to have a family because the traditional method just wasn't working for me. I wanted to learn what the options were in adoption and to compare agencies to find the right fit. It was a daunting task because there was no central comprehensive resource. I used the newspaper, parenting magazines, the yellow pages and my doctor's limited knowledge and asked friends if they knew of anyone who knew anyone who adopted. I was fortunate to find an agency that felt right and helped us to build our family through adoption.

Today, the Internet is a rich resource–a one-stop shop for finding anything you might dream of or desire. Goggling "adoption" yields almost 60,000,000 results! Needless to say, there is plenty of information readily available in cyberspace. But, how on earth does one make sense of any it?

As a means of providing an answer to that question, Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center is presenting Creating Kin Week from November 9–14, 2009.

Creating Kin Week kicks off with Options in Building Your Family through Adoption on Monday, November 9, 2009 from 6:00-8:00 p.m. This informational meeting will guide you through the maze of options in adoption, including International, Domestic Infant, and Waiting Child Adoption, debunk the myths (you can adopt if you are single, gay, rent an apartment rather than own a home, or have children already), and walk you through the adoption process with compassion and support. Visit http://www.hillside.com/Services/adoption.htm for more details and for a complete listing of the Creating Kin Week events.

Save the Date!
18th Annual Adoption Conference
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Bay Trail Middle School
Penfield, NY

Boss' Day brings out Believers at Hillside Adoption Services

On Friday, October 16, my entire staff paraded into my office and gathered around my desk. We have been quite busy with planning our week of Creating Kin Week events for National Adoption Month and I was concerned that they were there to tell me I had been pushing them to hard.

They stood there seriously for a moment, and then they all broke into smiles. Shari stepped forward and placed a small, sparkly gold gift bag on my desk and announced that they were in my office to say Happy Boss' Day. My staff presented me with a silver ring engraved with the word "Believe" in three languages. I was moved to tears! "Believe" is our staff mantra.

We Believe in the possibilities of creating kin and building family through adoption. We Believe in the right of every child to have a forever family. We Believe in the potential of every child to work through their trauma and find success in life. We Believe in the power of commitment of the families who adopt children who have experienced abuse and neglect. We Believe we can offer support to children and families on their adoption journey and throughout their lives. We Believe that together we can make a difference.

Thank you to my amazing staff who truly do Believe and demonstrate that every day through their commitment to families and children.

Lisa Maynard elected to NYSCCC Board

On May 7, 2009, Lisa Maynard, Hillside Children’s Center Adoption Services executive director, had the honor of being elected to the New York State Citizen's Coalition for Children's Board of Directors.

Lisa, a long time member and volunteer with the organization, said the New York State Citizen's Coalition for Children (NYSCCC) gave Adoption Resource Network, Inc.(now Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children's Center) the original grant to incorporate and organize in 1991 with the goal to provide information, education, guidance, and support to members of the adoption triad in Monroe and surrounding counties.

Incorporated in 1975, NYSCCC was organized to address problems in New York’s child welfare system. These problems had resulted in protracted foster care stays in what was intended to be a temporary system, but had, in fact, become the way of life for thousands of children in the foster care system. Coalition activities to address these problems over its 34 year history have been focused on:

• Administrative and Legislative Advocacy


• Community Education


• Parent Group Development and Support Services


• Recruitment of Families for Waiting Children

“I am proud to have been a part of NYSCCC for many years, and now have the good fortune to assist with their work in the coming years,” said Lisa.

National Association of Social Workers recognizes Hillside's Lisa Maynard

Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center Executive Director Lisa Maynard has been named as the Social Work Student of the Year by the National Association of Social Workers (NASW). Lisa was nominated for this award by the University of Buffalo School of Social Work, which Lisa is attending while working toward a Masters Degree in Social Work. Lisa received the award during the NASW awards dinner held on Tuesday, March 31, 2009 at the Burgundy Basin Inn outside of Rochester, NY.

Forum held on opening adoption records

By Lisa Maynard, Hillside Children’s Center Adoption Services executive director

On May 7, 2009, the Services Overview Committee of the Hillside Children’s Center Board of Directors hosted a special meeting to discuss the many perspectives on the controversial issue regarding opening adoption records and an adoptee’s right to access his or her original birth certificate. Respected ethicist, Maxine Vandewettering, served as moderator, with a panel of presenters representing different aspects of adoption. The panel was comprised of: Sally, adoptive mom to three children; Anne, adopted adult and adoptive mom; Ted, adopted adult; Mary, birthmother to a son born in 1946; and Pat, a former Hillside Social Worker in adoption.

The discussion was emotional and rich. Those in favor presented compelling personal stories and arguments for supporting access to birth records. The panelist against open records presented her thoughtful reasoning, and was equally compelling. The audience made wonderful use of the Q&A session, no doubt leaving the Forum with many more questions than answers.

National organizations are examining this issue, as well. A publication released in November 2007 by the Evan B. Donaldson Institute for Adoption for National Adoption Awareness month, (http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/research/2007_11_for_records.php) represents the most comprehensive examination to date of one of the most controversial, emotional issues in the modern adoption world: whether adopted people, once they become adults, should have access to their original birth certificates. This report suggests that all states change their laws so that the answer is "yes."

This policy paper is the result of the broadest, most extensive examination to date of the various issues related to state laws governing adult adopted persons' access to their original birth certificates. The information and recommendations in this paper are drawn from a review and analysis of past and current state laws; legislative history in states across the country; decades of experience on relevant issues; and the body of research relating to sealed and open records on the affected parties.

Among the findings in the report, "For the Records: Restoring a Right to Adult Adoptees," are:

• Prohibiting adopted people from getting their personal information raises significant civil rights concerns and potentially serious, negative consequences for their physical and mental health.
• In states that now allow access, there has been no evidence that the legal changes have caused problematic behavior by adopted persons or damage to birthmother's lives.
• Another assertion by critics of changing these laws - that abortion rates will rise and adoption rates will fall - is not supported by the evidence; in fact, it appears just the opposite occurs.

Using input from the Forum on Open Records, the Hillside Children’s Center Board and Hillside Family of Agencies Board of Directors will be making a decision on Hillside’s position to support a change in the New York State law.

If you would like to join this discussion, please email me at lmaynard@hillside.com. All voices are welcome.

Adoption interns make a difference

Over the last nine months, Hillside Children’s Center’s Adoption Services have had the good fortune to have four amazing interns serving children and families.

Erin Pena, Rebecca Coppenrath, and Leia Barkman, who are all Masters of Social Work degree students at Roberts Wesleyan College, took active roles in providing adoption services to children and families.

Erin primarily worked with Jacquie Morrison, assisting families in our International Adoption program. Rebecca and Leia primarily worked with Linda Harris, assisting families seeking to adopt through our Waiting Child Adoption program. Jennifer Castonguay assisted Mike Finn with AdoptMent and Lisa Petrosino with Wendy's Wonderful Kids.

The interns gained skills in interviewing, assessment, writing homestudies, navigating the child welfare system, group facilitation, and the intricacies of working inside of an agency.
All of us at Hillside’s Adoption Services are pleased to report that both Leia Barkman and Jennifer Castonguay have been hired as permanent staff members. Leia is a social worker with Hillside Children’s Center’s Monroe Region therapeutic foster care team and Jenn is a skillbuilder in adoption services. All four interns made valuable contributions to our program and services.

Pictured left to right in photo: Front row-Rebecca Coppenrath, Leia Barkman, Erin Pena, Lisa Maynard, and Jacquie Morrison; Back row-Mike Carroll, Shari Bartlett, Cecelia Spinelli, and Linda Harris.

Hillside staff member named Adoption Activist of the Year

Hillside Family of Agencies staff member Jody Hansen-Walker has been named Adoption Activist of the Year by the North American Council on Adoptable Children (NACAC).

Hansen-Walker is a member of Hillside Children’s Center’s Niagara County Team and serves as the post adoption coordinator with the Adoption Support and Preservation (ASAP) service.

Hansen-Walker was nominated by her son Steven, who rallied a number of people in support of his mother’s nomination.

“Jody’s boundless energy makes me tired, and her commitment is truly inspirational. This is a very wonderful honor for Jody and for our adoption work at Hillside,” says Lisa Maynard, Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center executive director.

Photo: Lisa (on the left) and Jody at the October 21, 2008 Adoption Excellence Award Ceremony in Washington, D.C. from the US Department of Health and Human Services. The award was for Hillside's work serving families, post adoption through ASAP.

Conference just days away

The Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center 17th Annual Conference is fast approaching.

This year, the conference is focusing on the changes that are impacting how and why people adopt children. Attendees at the November 8, 2008 conference being held from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. at the Bay Trail Middle School in Penfield, NY (See map here), will be able to participate in workshops that explore topics ranging from single parent adoption and LGBT adoption to how the Hague impacts adoption and why connections matter in the adoption process.

There have been so many changes that have impacted how and why people adopt. Each year, this conference proves to be one of the best ways for anyone interested in adopting, anyone who is an adoptive parent, and anyone who is an adoptee themselves to learn about the changing world of adoption from others who have experienced it.

The conference provides multiple opportunities for networking and learning more about the various aspects of adoption.

Register online now to attend: http://www.hillside.com/Services/Adoption/conference.htm.

The Changing World of Adoption

By Lisa Maynard, Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center executive director

More than 20 years ago, I wanted to be a Mom.

Conventional methods just weren’t working, and our doctor grouped us among the “unexplained infertile.” I was ready to move away from my doctor and move toward adoption.

I was scared and frustrated. I had heard the horror stories of adopting a baby in the U.S. I had talked with couples through a group called Infertility Focus who had been selected to parent the baby of a woman who at the last moment changed her mind. I had had enough disappointment and sadness during our infertility; I wasn’t ready to go deeper into loss from there. One agency told us there was a 7 to 10 year wait for a “healthy white infant.” Starting a family as I was approaching 40 wasn’t an option. All I kept thinking was that I was ready to start now!

We decided to check out International Adoption. It wasn’t any easier. Gathering information and choosing an agency was a challenge. Every agency I called claimed to be the best. How would I know? What did I need to look for in an agency? Where should I begin? I was at a loss. This was, after all, before the age of the Internet!

We attended an agency information meeting after I had spotted an ad in the local penny saver that had jumped out at me while packing to move into a new home. I called it fate and we decided to attend. The agency rep. was knowledgeable, warm, and kind. The room was filled with newly adoptive parents holding tightly to their babies. We made the decision to move forward.

The memory of when we got the call that our son was arriving within days will stay in my mind forever. My mother and I were running from the front door to the back–unable to decide whether we should walk or drive to share the news with my husband. While we were trying to figure out that huge dilemma, he came home for lunch! We made our plane reservations, called our friends, and waited some more.

Three days later, we were watching the international arrivals de-plane from Korean Airlines. Fourteen babies arrived from Korea that day; we tried to match the picture in our hand with the tiny faces in strollers two stories below. Suddenly, the elevator doors opened, and someone called our name. We stood staring at our new son, unsure of what to do next., “You can pick him up,” said the escort kindly. We did, and she left, and we began our life as a family and our journey through adoption continued.

In 1987, we filed an adoption application with an agency on May 29. On September 29 that year, our son Alex arrived from South Korea through the international terminal at JFK. It took four months!
The wait had seemed interminable, the time between was filled with Homestudy, baby-care classes, worrying, waiting, cleaning, painting, purchasing baby stuff, and more worrying.

So much has changed in 21 years. To some extent, the world is on information overload. The Internet has given us an incredible tool and access to all corners of the world. We can find truckloads of information and innumerable links to services which might meet our needs.

It feels easier in some respects than it did when we began our journey. However, the content, reliability, and validity of the information on the Internet can be somewhat questionable. Who can you trust? How can you be sure an agency you choose on the Internet will really care about you and your family’s future, and guide you through the adoption process?

Cindy Fleischer and I started Adoption Resource Network 18 years ago with the intent to bring together all sides of the adoption triad and to provide unbiased information, education, referral and support to individuals, couples and families who are interested in or involved in adoption. Our first annual conference drew a totally unexpected audience of 450! I wish there had been a conference like that before I began the adoption process. Each year, we hear from participants that the conference was the single most helpful step they took at the beginning of their adoption journey.

Almost two decades later, the Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center’s Annual Adoption Conference is still the best way in upstate New York to gather resources for adoption.

How A Child Defines Belonging

Jaiya John will be giving the luncheon keynote address on November 8 at the 17th Annual Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center Conference on Adoption “The Changing World of Adoption.”

Jaiya John’s poetic keynote celebrates the promise and the impact of adoption and similar family arrangements. Jaiya defines culture as a person’s way of existing in the world. This definition brings every child under the same tree; a tree rooted in our human need to feel as though we are beautiful (worthy, valid, positively unique and similar) and as though we belong (possessing an honored purpose within the collective). The challenge we face is in learning to honor children in the context of their purposeful individual uniqueness. Honoring children creates serenity, healing, and growth in each family member. In this holistic cultural approach, families learn to celebrate each member’s unique heritage, life story, and identity as a pathway to healthy relationships.

Throughout the afternoon Jaiya will also be conducting a book signing of his child service-related titles Legendary; Beautiful; Reflection Pond and Black Baby White Hands: A View from the Crib. Learn more about Jaiya John and Soul Water Rising’s global human relations mission at www.soulwater.org.

Workshop Session during the conference:

Jaiya’s workshop session will not be a “workshop” in the conventional sense, but rather a question-and-answer discussion addressing issues that were raised for participants during Jaiya’s keynote presentation. This will be a conversational session, without exercises or handouts. Here is your chance for hear-to-heart on the issues that are significant to you.

Two from Hillside discuss adoption on WGRZ's WNY Living

Check out this great segment from the October 11, 2008 WNY Living program. Lisa Maynard and Jody Hansen-Walker talk with Janet, the host of the show, about adoption, the upcoming conference, and the award the Adoption Support and Preservation services received from the US Department of Health and Human Services.

Here's the link to the main segment page: http://www.wnyliving.tv/WNYLiving_Article.aspx?storyid=61124

You can find the video by clicking on the "Click here to view" link on top of the Hillside logo, or by clicking here: http://www.wnyliving.tv/VideoPlayer.aspx?aid=48221&bw=

Behind the scenes at RNews on Oct. 9

Here is a brief "behind the scenes" look at the interview Lisa Maynard did with RNews' Virginia Butler early on October 9, 2008 about the ASAP award and the upcoming conference. Wait until the end to get Lisa's take on the interview. The RNews story can be found online here.

Watch RNews on October 9

Check out RNews around 7:45 a.m./8:00 a.m. October 9, 2008 and at RNews.com throughout the day for a special interview with Lisa Maynard, Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children's Center.

Then come back here to this blog for a "behind-the-scenes" video of the interview.

Lisa Maynard on WBTA 1490

Mark your calendars!
Lisa Maynard, Executive Director of Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children's Center will be on the radio October 2, 2008.
Listen to Batavia's WBTA 1490 AM at 9:40 a.m. to hear her talk about the award the program just received and the upcoming conference.

ASAP services nationally recognized

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has announced that the Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center is being recognized with the 2008 Adoption Excellence Award for the extraordinary contributions it has made in providing adoption and other permanency outcomes for children in foster care through its Adoption Support and Preservation services.

“It’s an honor to receive national recognition for our work to support and ensure the stability of adoptive families through our Adoption Support and Preservation services,” said Lisa Maynard, Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center executive director.

Adoption Support and Preservation (ASAP) offers support services to TANF-eligible families who have adopted or are in the process of adopting a child. The services include: information and referrals; support groups; skill building; crisis intervention; advocacy; respite services; and counseling. The service model employed by ASAP is the only one of its kind in Monroe County, and is unique to upstate New York.

Since rolling out the services in 2006, ASAP has proven extremely effective and has surpassed all of its performance targets.

“Because of ASAP, 99 percent of all children placed with a pre-adoptive family have stayed with that family despite facing very unique challenges. Without the services, the children wouldn’t have made it,” said Maynard.

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services established the Adoption Excellence Awards program to recognize outstanding accomplishments in achieving permanency for the nation’s children in foster care awaiting adoption. The awards honor states, child welfare agencies, organizations, courts, businesses, individuals, and families. More information on the awards can be found at http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/current_initiatives/aeawards.htm

Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center will hold its 17th Annual Adoption Conference: “The Changing World of Adoption” on November 8, 2008 at Bay Trail Middle School in Penfield. For information about speakers and workshops and to register, log on to http://www.hillside.com/Services/Adoption/conference.htm
More information about Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center can be found at http://www.hillside.com

Adoption pioneer speaks about the changing world of adoption

As a pioneer in the field of adoption and post adoption services, Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao, Ed.D., LCSW, LMFT, knows that the world of adoption has changed since her own adoption sixty years ago.

“So many things have changed. In the early days of adoption it was a supply and demand kind of situation,” notes Pavao. Today, she thinks it is more important for anyone involved in the adoption process to be child-centered–to find families for children rather than find children for families.

Once those families have been found, and an adoption has been finalized, Pavao advocates for the utilization of post adoption services to overcome the challenges in “understanding and making sense of adoption” for all parties—birth family, adoptive family and adopted persons.

“The importance of post adoption services is challenging. There is a lot of loss involved and often trauma as well. Providing services in an ongoing way is very important,” says Pavao.

She notes that the job of the new adoptive parent is to be aware of, and sensitive to, identity issues the child may experience so as to make the youth more comfortable during the transition and afterwards.

Pavao points to the increasing trend of gay and lesbian couples adopting to explain her opinion. In the past, she says that one of the partners in these couples had to act as a single parent to adopt. Now, people are more overt about their sexual orientation. That they are gay or lesbian is important to their identification as a family and that is to be considered as they go through the adoption process. She argues that secrecy did not work in adoption of old, and secrecy does not work in the present.

“These are people that are good people that want to be parents,” says Pavao.

And as the world of adoption continues to change, the desire to be a parent and welcome a child into a family is one constant Pavao views as an important characteristic that anyone interested in adopting should have.

More of Pavao’s take on the changes occurring in the world of adoption can be heard during the morning keynote address “The Changing World of Adoption: How Far Have We Come,” which she is scheduled to deliver during the Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center’s 17th annual conference: “The Changing World of Adoption” being held on November 8, 2008, at the Bay Trail Middle School, 1760 Scribner Road, Penfield, NY 14526.

“I think the conference is terrific. Everyone should consider attending. They will be surprised and will learn something about themselves, their loved ones, and their community,” says Pavao.

Registration for the conference is now open and can be done online at http://www.hillside.com/Services/Adoption/conference.htm. For more on the work Dr. Pavao is doing, log on to The Center For Family Connections web site at http://www.kinnect.org. Her book is The Family of Adoption, Beacon Press, 2005.

The world of adoption is changing

Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center is focusing this year’s conference on the changes that are impacting how and why people adopt children.

Attendees at the November 8, 2008 conference being held from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. at the Bay Trail Middle School in Penfield, NY (See map here), will be able to participate in workshops that explore topics ranging from single parent adoption and LGBT adoption to how the Hague impacts adoption and why connections matter in the adoption process.

“During the 17 years that we’ve been holding this conference, there have been so many changes that have impacted how and why people adopt. Each year, the conference has proven to be one of the best ways for anyone interested in adopting, anyone who is an adoptive parent, and anyone who is an adoptee themselves to learn about these changes first-hand from others who have experienced them,” says Lisa Maynard, Adoption Resource Network at Hillside Children’s Center executive director.

In addition to the slate of workshops, a morning keynote address entitled “The changing world of adoption: how far have we come,” an afternoon keynote addressing interracial adoption, and a general session discussing the future of adoption, the conference will provide multiple opportunities for conference attendees to interact with one another and learn more about the various aspects of adoption.

Registration for the conference is now open and can be done online at http://www.hillside.com/Services/Adoption/conference.htm.

A journey 18 years in the making

By Lisa Maynard, ARN at HCC executive director

A little more than 18 years ago, I was on a flight to JFK to pick up my new daughter. I was nervous and excited, and more than a little frightened of how this new addition would affect our existing family of three. How would our beloved son adjust? At nearly three years old, he had been the one and only, the treasured first son. His life was about to be disrupted by our new arrival and I worried about his reaction and my ability to care for two babies at once.

At five months old, my daughter had just experienced the loss of the only family she had ever known, endured a grueling 26-hour trip from Seoul, South Korea halfway around the world to New York City accompanied by an escort she had never met before, and was placed in our loving–yet strange–arms. The moment I held her, my fears and apprehensions melted away. I knew my family was complete.

In late August, her dad, brother, and I (her step-dad was waylaid by surgery and disappointed at missing the trip) delivered Kristen to another strange land–Columbus, Ohio. This time, she had favorite belongings with her, was accompanied by her family, and was delivered with love and care to her new home and latest adventure—College!

How on earth did 18 years pass? In a conversation on one of our many trips to the store to buy supplies for her dorm, I told Kristen how all my friends who had children long before I did warned me of how fast children grow. I pretended to listen, to understand, but really I had no idea. It would be different for me; I would cherish each day and relish the progress she made, counting each day as a special lifetime. For me, time would play out like a slow motion fairy tale–making cookies, painting faces and knees, hosting sleepover parties, and cuddling late into the night. My daughter's childhood would last forever.

And suddenly, the spunky pink bundle that was placed in my arms in an airport in New York City grew overnight into a charming beauty–talented, engaging and strong-willed. While gathered with other moms watching the picture-taking at a pre-Senior Ball event, many of them exclaimed over the stunning dark-haired young woman in the purple gown. My daughter! I basked in their awe and shared it with them, finally admitting that she was mine!

I have learned so much from my daughter. She affected my life in ways I could not have imagined. Her bright flashes of anger taught me that mad is sometimes OK. Her charm and poise make me proud. Her brilliant smile lights me up. Her love for me astounds me and makes me feel luckier than any other mom.

I learned that attachments are made over time, with patience, with unwavering commitment. I've learned that adoption is so much more than bringing a baby into your home with a "clean slate" starting new from that day. I've learned that I can be Mom, honor her origins, love her birth mother without whom I would not have the incredible gift of my daughter.

The journey to adoption is often fraught with frustration, delay, discouraging news, long waits, and sometimes disappointment. Many of us have had to face up to recognize and mourn our unmet expectations. Many of us have faced challenges we did not anticipate, did not really "ask for." It all seems so insignificant when compared to the sheer bliss, the honor, the incredible depth of love, and overwhelming commitment of parenting a child by adoption.

How proud I am of my daughter. How fortunate I am to be Kristen's Mom.

Photo: Lisa, right, and daughter Kristen